In Bruce and Deborah McKay's family, one good thing led to another. "First, we adopted our son Brandon," Deborah remembers. "Then, at an adoption support meeting, we saw this little girl in an adoption bulletin publication. She looked so much like Brandon. Her background was similar, too. And the social worker said she was available for adoption."
The McKays followed through and Deborah says Brandon and his new sister Sheila "turned out to be a great match." Today, they're "like normal siblings" who love to play and spend time together. But Deborah admits the early stages of building the family were challenging.
In Brandon's case, there were issues with his birth parents. "The birth mom had chosen us, based on our home study, and meeting her was stressful but not too bad," says Bruce.
However, they still needed consent from the birth father who, at that time, didn't know he had a son. It took some time to track him down and "once he was located, we were afraid he might want Brandon himself," Deborah confides. "When he signed [the adoption papers], I was so relieved I cried."
There were other tense moments too. Brandon had serious health complications and Sheila had some emotional problems.
"For the first while at home, she was wonderful," Deborah explains. "Then, about a month later, she started having nightmares and we realized she was mourning the loss of her previous home. She cried a lot, and I just held her. And every day after that she cried a little less." Deborah says the mourning period gradually tapered off and, with time, Sheila became a happy, healthy toddler.
The McKays have lots of support in their community - from other adoptive parents, and from their local Infant Development Program. They still face the day-to-day challenges of parenting but they've never for a moment regretted their decision.
"It's just been wonderful to watch these two grow and blossom together," says Deborah. "They smile at you and your heart melts. And when they call you Mummy it's the biggest gift you have."
*For privacy reasons, names are fictitious.
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